Three animal jokes***

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• Cat Collector

   A famous art collector is walking through the city when he notices a mangy cat lapping milk from a saucer in the doorway of a store and he does a double take.
      
      He knows that the saucer is extremely old and very valuable, so he walks casually into the store and offers to buy the cat for two dollars.
      
      The store owner replies, "I'm sorry, but the cat isn't for sale.
      
      The collector says, "Please, I need a hungry cat around the house to catch mice. I'll pay you twenty dollars for that cat." And the owner says "Sold," and hands over the cat.
      
      The collector continues, "Hey, for the twenty bucks I wonder if you could throw in that old saucer. The cat's used to it and it'll save me from having to get a dish."
      
      To which the owner says, "Sorry buddy, but that's my lucky saucer. So far this week I've sold sixty-eight cats."

• How to Tell the Weather

  To Tell the weather, Go to your back door and look for the dog.
      
      If the dog is at the door and he is wet, it's probably raining. But if the dog is standing there really soaking wet, it is probably raining really hard.
      
      If the dog's fur looks like it's been rubbed the wrong way, it's probably windy.
      
      If the dog has snow on his back, it's probably snowing.
      
      Of course, to be able to tell the weather like this, you have to leave the dog outside all the time, especially if you expect bad weather.
      
      Sincerely,
      
      The CAT 

• Horsing Around

Two horses were walking back to the paddock after a days training. One says to the other "I can't understand why we are so slow, we come from good stock, we have the best of food, great trainers, and yet we come last in every race."
      
      There was a dog running along side them who overheard and said "I know what your problem is. I have seen you race and it looks to me as if you race off at the start really fast and use up all your energy and then you have nothing left. What you should do is pace yourselves and when all the other horses are tuckered, put in a spurt and you're sure to win. What do you think of that?".
      
      The horses looked at one another and said "WOW, a talking dog!"