1.I don't even know that woman
A couple walking in the park noticed a young man and woman sitting on a bench, passionately kissing.
"Why don't you do that?" said the wife.
"Honey," replied her husband, "I don't even know that woman!"
"Why don't you do that?" said the wife.
"Honey," replied her husband, "I don't even know that woman!"
2.Keep yourself busy
My husband was enjoying the day off from work and watched me scurry about the house.
I picked up his dirty clothes, put away his work shoes, carried out his popcorn bowl from the previous night's football viewing, washed the breakfast dishes, wiped the coffee he'd spilled and ironed his shirts.
Seeing a thoughtful look on his lace, I wondered if he was beginning to realize just how much unnecessary work he created for me. Maybe he would offer to help. "A penny for your thoughts," I said.
"I was thinking," he replied, "that one of the things I like best about you is how you always find ways to keep yourself busy."
I picked up his dirty clothes, put away his work shoes, carried out his popcorn bowl from the previous night's football viewing, washed the breakfast dishes, wiped the coffee he'd spilled and ironed his shirts.
Seeing a thoughtful look on his lace, I wondered if he was beginning to realize just how much unnecessary work he created for me. Maybe he would offer to help. "A penny for your thoughts," I said.
"I was thinking," he replied, "that one of the things I like best about you is how you always find ways to keep yourself busy."
3.Good News and Bad News
"There's good news and bad news," the divorce lawyer told his client.
"I could sure use some good news," sighed the client. "What's it?"
"Your wife isn't demanding that your future inheritances be included in the settlement."
"And the bad news?"
"After the divorce, she's marrying your father."
"I could sure use some good news," sighed the client. "What's it?"
"Your wife isn't demanding that your future inheritances be included in the settlement."
"And the bad news?"
"After the divorce, she's marrying your father."
4.Put that ring back on
During World War II, I found that my wedding ring was being destroyed through the use of my GI trenching shovel, so I took the ring off and placed it on my dog-tag chain.
After being promoted from corporal to staff sergeant, I sent my wife a photo of myself wearing the new stripes. Instead of congratulations the letter I got back contained just five words: "PUT THAT RING BACK ON!"
After being promoted from corporal to staff sergeant, I sent my wife a photo of myself wearing the new stripes. Instead of congratulations the letter I got back contained just five words: "PUT THAT RING BACK ON!"
5.A Mistake
An Amercian, a Scot and a Canadian were killed in a car accident. They arrived at the gates of heaven, where a flustered St. Peter explained that there had been a mistake. "Give me $500 each," he said, "and I'll return you to earth as if the whole thing never happened."
"Done!" said the American. Instantly, he found himself standing unhurt near the scene.
"Where are the others?" asked a medic .
"Last I knew," said the American, "the Scot was huggling price, and the Canadian was arguing that his government should pay."
"Done!" said the American. Instantly, he found himself standing unhurt near the scene.
"Where are the others?" asked a medic .
"Last I knew," said the American, "the Scot was huggling price, and the Canadian was arguing that his government should pay."
yeah!haha^^^^
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