A resident in a posh hotel breakfast room called over the head waiter one morning and said with a wonderful and cheerful smile.
"Good Morning sir. What a wonderful morning. I'd like two boiled eggs, one of them so under cooked it's runny , and the other so over cooked it's tough and hard to eat. Also, grilled bacon that has been left out so it gets a bit on the cold side; burnt toast that crumbles away as soon as you touch it with a knife; butter straight from the deep freeze so that it's impossible to spread; and a pot of very weak coffee, lukewarm."
"That's a complicated order sir," said the bewildered waiter. "It might be quite difficult."
The guest replied, "Oh? I don't understand -- that's what I got yesterday!"
When the Leaves Are Gone
"Good Morning sir. What a wonderful morning. I'd like two boiled eggs, one of them so under cooked it's runny , and the other so over cooked it's tough and hard to eat. Also, grilled bacon that has been left out so it gets a bit on the cold side; burnt toast that crumbles away as soon as you touch it with a knife; butter straight from the deep freeze so that it's impossible to spread; and a pot of very weak coffee, lukewarm."
"That's a complicated order sir," said the bewildered waiter. "It might be quite difficult."
The guest replied, "Oh? I don't understand -- that's what I got yesterday!"
When the Leaves Are Gone
On a beautiful Octorber day, my husband and I were taking a drive through the Georgia mountains. When traffic slowed to snail's pace, we assumed there was road construction or an accident ahead.
My husband reached for the CB radio and asked, "Can anyone tell me when the traffic returns to normal?"
Came the raply: "When the leaves are gone."
Timing is Everything
Response Ability
How Much Is It?My husband reached for the CB radio and asked, "Can anyone tell me when the traffic returns to normal?"
Came the raply: "When the leaves are gone."
Timing is Everything
A very close friend of mine, named Alan, is chronically late, and not by just a little. Anybody that knows Alan knows that he is totally undependable and will always show up an hour late, if he shows up at all. But somehow people put up with this frustrating characteristic because he is one of the funniest, most charming individuals you will ever meet.
An occasion that I remember provides an illustration. A group of 4-5 people had plans to go to dinner together, including Alan. The plan was to meet at the home of "Brent", who had arranged the whole thing, at 8:00pm, have a quick drink, and still make our 8:30 dinner reservation. At 9:30, Alan had still not shown. Everyone, but especially Brent who had by then made 3 calls to the restaurant, was hungry and extremely angry at Alan.
Just when we had decided to go on without him, he showed up. As we were all climbing into Brent's car, Brent had to take some stuff out of the back seat and put it into the trunk so we would all have room to sit. Only Alan could have then said "Gee, Brent, you had an hour and a half. Couldn't you at least get the car cleaned out?" The laughter that ensued caused everyone to forget how hungry and mad we were.
An occasion that I remember provides an illustration. A group of 4-5 people had plans to go to dinner together, including Alan. The plan was to meet at the home of "Brent", who had arranged the whole thing, at 8:00pm, have a quick drink, and still make our 8:30 dinner reservation. At 9:30, Alan had still not shown. Everyone, but especially Brent who had by then made 3 calls to the restaurant, was hungry and extremely angry at Alan.
Just when we had decided to go on without him, he showed up. As we were all climbing into Brent's car, Brent had to take some stuff out of the back seat and put it into the trunk so we would all have room to sit. Only Alan could have then said "Gee, Brent, you had an hour and a half. Couldn't you at least get the car cleaned out?" The laughter that ensued caused everyone to forget how hungry and mad we were.
Response Ability
An Ogden, Iowa, minister was matching coins with a member of his congregation for a cup of coffee. When asked if that didn't constitute gambling, the minister replied, "It's merely a scientific method of determining just who is going to commit an act of charity."
Philospher Bertrand Russell, asked if he was willing to die for his beliers, replied: "Of course not. After all, I may be wrong."
A newspaper organized a contest for the best answer to the question: "If a fire broke out in the Louvre, and if you could only save one painting, which one would you carry out?"
The winning reply was: "The one nearest the exit."
Philospher Bertrand Russell, asked if he was willing to die for his beliers, replied: "Of course not. After all, I may be wrong."
A newspaper organized a contest for the best answer to the question: "If a fire broke out in the Louvre, and if you could only save one painting, which one would you carry out?"
The winning reply was: "The one nearest the exit."
It was winter, and Mrs. Hermann wanted to do a lot of shopping, so she waited until it was Saturday, when her husband was free, and she took him to the shops with her to pay for everything and to carry her parcels. They went to a lot of shops, and Mrs. Hermann bought a lot of things. She often stopped and said, "Look, Joe! Isn't that beautiful!"
He then answered, "All right, dear, How much is it?" and took his money out to pay for it.
It was dark when they came out of the last shop, and Mr. Hermann was tired and thinking about other things, like a nice drink by the side of a warm fire at home. Suddenly his wife looked up at the sky and said, "Look at that beautiful moon, Joe!"
Without stopping, Mr. Hermann answered, "All right, dear, How much is it?"
He then answered, "All right, dear, How much is it?" and took his money out to pay for it.
It was dark when they came out of the last shop, and Mr. Hermann was tired and thinking about other things, like a nice drink by the side of a warm fire at home. Suddenly his wife looked up at the sky and said, "Look at that beautiful moon, Joe!"
Without stopping, Mr. Hermann answered, "All right, dear, How much is it?"
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