Happy moment!Always happy***

A Chimpanzee and a Norwegian
In 1990 the Swedes sent their first rocket up into outer space with a crew consisting of a chimpanzee and a Norwegian. On the control panel in front of them was a red light and a green light. When the red light flashed in indicated that instructions were about to come through for the Norwegian and when the green light showed it signalled an imminent instruction for the chimpanzee.
Ten minutes after blast-off the green light flashed and the chimpanzee was instructed to alter the course of the rocket slightly, to take infra-red photographs of Sweden and to repair the radio transmitter. Half an hour later the green light flashed again and the chimpanzee was told to calculate the rate of fuel consumption, adjust the computer and make ovservations in connection with the earth's magnetic field.
By this time the Norwegian was getting restless at having nothing to do and resentful of the busy chimpanzee. Then one hour later the red light flashed and the Norwegian eagerly awaited his instructions. A minute later came the order: "Feed the chimpanzee."


Two Dollars

Jim walked into a store which had a sign outside: "Second-hand clothes bought and sold." He was carrying an old pair of pants and asked the owner of the store, "How much will you give me for these?" The man looked at them and then said rudely, "Two dollars."
"What!" said Jim. "I had guessed they were worth at least five."
"No," said the man, "they aren't worth a penny more than two dollars."
"Are you sure?" said Jim.
"Very sure," said the man.
"Well," said Jim, taking two dollars out of his pocket, "here's your money. These pants were hanging outside your store with a piece tag that said $6.50, but I thought that was too much money, so I wanted to make sure how much they were really worth."
Then he walked out of the store with the pair of pants and disappeared before the surprised store owner could think of anything to say.

None Other Than a Soldier

As a newly commissinaed infantry lieutenant, I was eager to set an example for my platoon by cleaning my own M-16 rifle. While we were working on the weapons, one soldier complained about the unusual notched shape of the M-16's bolt and chamber, which makes it difficult to clean.
"Lieutenant, they need to make something to clean this with," the soldier said.
"They do," piped up a sergeant.
"Really," I said with surprise, wondering why we had not ordered such a tool.
"Yes, sir," replied the sergeant. "It's called a soldier."

  

Quick Reaction

My battery commander and I were interviewing candidates for a position as reconnaissance sergeant in our artillery unit. The selected soldier needed to have keen eyesight, plus the ability to react quickly. During one interview, the commander pointed to a hill about a mile away and asked a young sergeant, "Can you see that hill over there?"
"Yes, sir." he replied.
"Can you see the radio antenna on that hill?" Again, the soldier said that he could. "Well, then," the commander went on, "Can you see that bird sitting on the antenna?"
The sergeant leaned forward and squinted. "No, sir," he said, "but I can hear it is singing."
He got the job.